


Sins of the Father

by zaan



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-12 14:38:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19231138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaan/pseuds/zaan
Summary: Thanks to Aurora Nova for the feedbackThis AU fic takes place in Season 5 after Doctor Bashir I presume but before Call to Arms





	Sins of the Father

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Aurora Nova for the feedback
> 
> This AU fic takes place in Season 5 after Doctor Bashir I presume but before Call to Arms

"It's not possible."

They were in the infirmary, where Garak would never have come except for the Bajoran flu that had hit him so hard and so unexpectedly.

Julian placed his hand carefully on Garak's shoulder.  "I'm sorry, Elim."

"You must be wrong.  There's no way ..." He trailed off.

"It's a lot to process.  Give yourself time."

 

xxx

 

"I have to go."

"Is it safe?"

"I'll be careful."

"Elim –"

"I have to, Julian.  I have to know."

 

xxx

 

Julian jumps every time the computer chirps, signalling the arrival of an incoming message.  They were always the same, telling him everything and nothing.  _I'm fine.  I'm still looking.  Don't worry._

Julian worries.  Garak is in Cardassian-Dominion space.  If he's found he'll be killed.

 

xxx

 

_I need Kira to check something on Bajor for me; tell her._

She doesn't believe Julian, not at first, but she does agree to help.  It takes them nearly a week to find what they're looking for, at which point Kira no longer needs convincing.   Julian transmits the information back and waits.

For two weeks he hears nothing at all.  When he does receive a message, there are no words, only a medical record.  He knows what Garak wants.  He runs it through the computers, stares at the answer, and then sends off a single word in response: _Yes_.

 

xxx

 

Julian finds Garak in his quarters one week later, sitting in the dark, looking more broken than Julian has ever seen him, deep lines in his face and dark circles under his eyes. 

They don't talk, but they hold each other, Julian's arms almost all that is keeping Garak together.

 

xxx

 

"Can it be reversed?" he asks the next morning at breakfast, gesturing vaguely towards himself.

Julian examines him thoughtfully, trying to imagine what the effects would be if he did as Garak asked.  He runs his fingertips over the very Cardassian features and cups Garak's cheek in his hand.  "Yes," he says finally, "If that's what you want."

"I don't know what I want."

"You will.  Give it time."

 

xxx

 

It goes on like this, Garak spending hours in silence only to suddenly voice a question.  Julian does research on his own but doesn't mention it to Garak.  Meanwhile, Garak is spending all of his spare time with Kira, who is surprisingly gentle with him.  They whisper together in Quark's.  Julian thinks she even took him to the temple one day, but he can't be sure.

 

xxx

 

"I always thought Tain's housekeeper was my mother.  It's what I was supposed to think, of course."

"She's still your mother."

"Is she?  Was it any different than keeping any other of Tain's lies?"

 

xxx

 

"She wasn't even a comfort woman," he says, finally talking about her, about the mother whose existence had been erased until a fluke case of Bajoran flu had shown the reality of her hidden in his DNA, a truth that had been covered since his infancy with lies and surgeries.  "She was in a resistance cell and she was captured.  He tortured her, abused her ... I was born in prison.  He took me from her.  He took me from her and she died.  I don't know how.  I don't know if he ..."  

He can't voice it. 

 

xxx

 

Slowly Garak comes, if not to embrace, then at least to accept this part of himself, though the acceptance brings new questions.

"What am I if I'm not Cardassian?" he asks.  "If I'm not Bajoran?  Where do I belong?"

He finds an answer, of sorts, in Julian's arms.

 

xxx

 

It has been years since they've talked of it.  Now, looking down at their adopted son, Garak says, "I want him to know.  I want him to know about her."

"Then we'll tell him."

**Author's Note:**

> This fic just came out of a weird little what if that occurred to me one day - what if Garak, that prodigal son of Cardassia, were part Bajoran?


End file.
